\n \u201cBaba, beni sen yakt\u0131n, beni sen yakt\u0131n, sen yakt\u0131n, sen, sen, sen! Ben ba\u015fkas\u0131n\u0131 seviyordum, beni bu hayvana sen verdin! Beni sen yakt\u0131n, Allah da seni yaks\u0131n!\u201d \u2026 <\/p>\n
Sokak, k\u0131rk be\u015f ya\u015flar\u0131nda, yedi\u011fi dayaktan y\u00fcz\u00fc g\u00f6z\u00fc \u015fi\u015fmi\u015f, morarm\u0131\u015f, sa\u00e7\u0131 ba\u015f\u0131 darmada- \u011f\u0131n, adeta canl\u0131 bir \u00f6fke yuma\u011f\u0131na d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f kad\u0131n\u0131n bu \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131klar\u0131yla dolmu\u015ftu. Kad\u0131n, baba dedi\u011fi seksen ya\u015flar\u0131ndaki sa\u00e7\u0131 sakal\u0131 \u00e7oktan a\u011farm\u0131\u015f, aln\u0131 ve y\u00fcz\u00fc derin \u00e7izgilerle parsel- lenmi\u015f adam\u0131n yakas\u0131na yap\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015f, \u00f6ld\u00fcresiye tartakl\u0131yor, tartakl\u0131yordu. \u00c7evredeki evlerde oturanlar d\u0131\u015far\u0131 \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015f, \u015fa\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131k ve \u00fcz\u00fcnt\u00fcyle olup biteni seyrediyorlard\u0131. Ya\u015fl\u0131 adam bu a\u011f\u0131r su\u00e7lamaya ve tartaklanmaya kar\u015f\u0131 kendini savunacak hi\u00e7bir davran\u0131\u015fta bulunmuyordu . <\/p>\n
Olaya seyirci kalman\u0131n do\u011fru olmayaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnerek usulca yanlar\u0131na yakla\u015ft\u0131m ve kad\u0131na,
\n\u201cBiraz daha tartaklarsan\u0131z baban\u0131z elinizde kalacak, l\u00fctfen b\u0131rak\u0131n,\u201d dedim.Bana ters ters bakt\u0131
\nve hi\u00e7bir \u015fey s\u00f6ylemeden arkas\u0131n\u0131 d\u00f6n\u00fcp uzakla\u015ft\u0131, O gidince seyirciler de evlerine \u00e7ekildiler.
\nYa\u015fl\u0131 adam \u00f6yle peri\u015fan bir durumdayd\u0131 ki yaln\u0131z b\u0131rakmaya k\u0131yamad\u0131m. Olay yerinden uzak-la\u015ft\u0131r\u0131p sakinle\u015ftirmek i\u00e7in koluna girdim ve \u201c\u0130sterseniz biraz y\u00fcr\u00fcyelim.\u201d dedim. Sessizce y\u00fc-
\nr\u00fcmeye ba\u015flad\u0131k.G\u00f6zlerinden buru\u015fuk yanaklar\u0131na do\u011fru iri g\u00f6zya\u015f\u0131 damlalar\u0131 s\u00fcz\u00fcl\u00fcyordu. \u00d6yle \u00fczg\u00fcn g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcyordu ki kendisine herhangi bir \u015fey sormaya k\u0131yamad\u0131m. Bir s\u00fcre yan yana sessizce y\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fck. Uzunca bir sessizli\u011fin ard\u0131ndan kendili\u011finden anlatma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131: \u201cK\u0131z\u0131m hakl\u0131\u201d dedi, \u201conu ben yakt\u0131m,\u201d Sonra elleriyle y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc kapatarak bir s\u00fcre h\u0131\u00e7k\u0131r\u0131klarla a\u011flad\u0131, derken konu\u015fmaya devam etti: \u201cEvet, onu ben yakt\u0131m. Y\u0131llarca \u00f6nce bir ak\u015fam \u00fcst\u00fc kahvehanede oturuyordum. \u00c7evremizde zengin ve sayg\u0131n bilinen bir dostum yan\u0131ma geldi. Birlikte \u00e7ay i\u00e7tik. Dostum bir ara o\u011flunun evlenme \u00e7a\u011f\u0131na geldi\u011fini, k\u0131z\u0131m\u0131 o\u011fluna uygun g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc s\u00f6yledi, ben de verdim gitti dedim.
\n Ak\u015fam eve gidince kendisini o delikanl\u0131ya verdi\u011fimi s\u00f6yledim k\u0131z\u0131ma, K\u0131z\u0131m itiraz etmeye kalkt\u0131ysa da kulak asmad\u0131m. S\u00f6z\u00fc uzatmayay\u0131m, k\u0131z\u0131m\u0131 o delikanl\u0131yla evlenmeye mecbur ettim. K\u0131z\u0131m, daha gerdek gecesi dayak yeme\u011fe ba\u015flad\u0131 kocas\u0131ndan. Hem de ne dayak! Bir \u00e7ok kez ka\u00e7\u0131p eve d\u00f6nd\u00fc, her seferinde geri g\u00f6nderdim. Ben ona bakabilecek durumda de\u011fil- dim ve onun bir mesle\u011fi yoktu, nas\u0131l ge\u00e7inecekti? Yoksulluktan okutamad\u0131m ama bir meslek kursuna g\u00f6nderip ya da bir ustan\u0131n yan\u0131na \u00e7\u0131rak verip bir meslek de edindirmedim. En az\u0131ndan bunu yapabilirdim oysa\u2026 Aptalca kayg\u0131larla ona bu f\u0131rsat\u0131 da vermedim. Onu ben yakt\u0131m, onu ben yakt\u0131m! Ve i\u015fte \u015fimdi yapabilece\u011fim hi\u00e7bir \u015fey yok! Ben ki sevmedi\u011fim insanlarla bir \u00e7ay i\u00e7imi bile ayn\u0131 masada oturamam. B\u00f6yleyken, k\u0131z\u0131m\u0131 sevmedi\u011fi, hi\u00e7 sevmedi\u011fi, hatta tiksindi\u011fi bir insanla bir \u00f6m\u00fcr boyu ayn\u0131 yatakta yatmaya mahkum ettim. L\u00fctfen bana bir yol g\u00f6sterin: K\u0131z\u0131m\u0131n heba olan otuz y\u0131l\u0131n\u0131 ona nas\u0131l geri verebilirim? Onu bu cehennemden nas\u0131l kurtarabilirim? Ona k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir k\u0131z iken d\u00fc\u015fledi\u011fi o mutlu yuvay\u0131 kurma f\u0131rsat\u0131n\u0131 nas\u0131l verebilirim? <\/p>\n
Adam sustu. Sorusuna derde deva bir yan\u0131t alamayaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 biliyor gibi arkas\u0131n\u0131 d\u00f6n\u00fcp yan\u0131m dan h\u0131zla uzakla\u015ft\u0131. \u0130lk yan soka\u011fa sap\u0131p g\u00f6zden kayboldu. E\u011fer yan\u0131mda durup yan\u0131t\u0131m\u0131 bek lese ona \u201cSen cezas\u0131z bir cinayet i\u015flemi\u015fsin.\u201d diyebilecek miydim, bilemiyorum. En az\u0131ndan teselli makam\u0131nda bir \u015feyler s\u00f6yleyebilir miydim? <\/p>\n
O g\u00fcnden sonra yolum ne zaman o soka\u011fa d\u00fc\u015fse hep o \u201cBaba beni sen yakt\u0131n, beni sen yakt\u0131n, beni sen yakt\u0131n\u2026\u201d diye hayk\u0131ran kad\u0131n\u0131 ve vicdan azab\u0131 i\u00e7inde bo\u011fulan o adam\u0131 hat\u0131rlar\u0131m.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u201cBaba, beni sen yakt\u0131n, beni sen yakt\u0131n, sen yakt\u0131n, sen, sen, sen! Ben ba\u015fkas\u0131n\u0131 seviyordum, beni bu hayvana sen verdin! Beni sen yakt\u0131n, Allah da seni yaks\u0131n!\u201d \u2026 Sokak, k\u0131rk be\u015f ya\u015flar\u0131nda, yedi\u011fi dayaktan y\u00fcz\u00fc g\u00f6z\u00fc \u015fi\u015fmi\u015f, morarm\u0131\u015f, sa\u00e7\u0131 ba\u015f\u0131 darmada- \u011f\u0131n, adeta canl\u0131 bir \u00f6fke yuma\u011f\u0131na d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f kad\u0131n\u0131n bu \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131klar\u0131yla dolmu\u015ftu. Kad\u0131n, baba dedi\u011fi […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kocapinarnotlarim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1094"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kocapinarnotlarim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kocapinarnotlarim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kocapinarnotlarim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kocapinarnotlarim.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1094"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.kocapinarnotlarim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1094\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1095,"href":"https:\/\/www.kocapinarnotlarim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1094\/revisions\/1095"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kocapinarnotlarim.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1094"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kocapinarnotlarim.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1094"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kocapinarnotlarim.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1094"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}