Gecenin bir\u00a0 vakti. Yar\u0131 uyur yar\u0131 uyan\u0131k bir haldesiniz. Yan\u0131n\u0131zda biri var, m\u0131\u015f\u0131l m\u0131\u015f\u0131l uyuyor. Huzur i\u00e7inde. Dirse\u011finize dayanarak hafif\u00e7e do\u011frulup onu seyre dal\u0131yorsunuz<\/p>\n
Ne kadar sevimli, ne kadar mutlu, ne kadar cana yak\u0131n bir y\u00fcz. Siz ki onu ayn\u0131 yata\u011f\u0131 payla\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z ilk g\u00fcnden beri ne kadar k\u0131rm\u0131\u015f, incitmi\u015f,\u00a0 ne kadar h\u0131rpalam\u0131\u015f, d\u0131\u015f d\u00fcnyan\u0131z\u0131n s\u0131rt\u0131n\u0131za y\u00fckledi\u011fi a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131klar\u0131n, s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131lar\u0131n, zul\u00fcmlerin sorumlusu oymu\u015f gibi isyanlara kalk\u0131\u015f\u0131p ba\u011f\u0131rm\u0131\u015f, \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rm\u0131\u015f… s\u0131n\u0131z. O ise ac\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 nas\u0131l giderece\u011fini, sizi nas\u0131l\u00a0 teselli edece\u011fini bilememenin \u015fa\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131yla adeta \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131n\u0131p durmu\u015f.<\/p>\n
B\u00fckemedi\u011finiz bileklerin yerine onun kalbini k\u0131rarak,\u00a0 sald\u0131rarak hayat\u0131n ac\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 \u00fcst\u00fcn\u00fczden atmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015fs\u0131n\u0131z. Bunu ona bir\u00e7ok kez yapm\u0131\u015f ama ondan pek\u00a0 az \u00f6z\u00fcr dilemi\u015fsiniz. Duygular\u0131n\u0131z\u0131, s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131z\u0131, tepenizde dola\u015fan belalar\u0131 onunla\u00a0 payla\u015fmaktan hep ka\u00e7\u0131nm\u0131\u015fs\u0131n\u0131z. Buna ra\u011fmen o sizi hep anlamaya\u00a0 \u00e7al\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015f, kalbindeki yaralar\u0131, \u00e7atlaklar\u0131 k\u0131sa s\u00fcrelerde onarm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r. Ve i\u015fte her zaman oldu\u011fu gibi bu gece de yan\u0131n\u0131za sokulmu\u015f, bar\u0131\u015f ve huzur i\u00e7inde uyuyup dinlenmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmaktad\u0131r.<\/p>\n
Kimdir bu sab\u0131r ta\u015f\u0131?<\/p>\n
Kimdir bu t\u00fcm aksili\u011finize, k\u0131r\u0131c\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131za kar\u015f\u0131n sizden kopup kendisine s\u0131\u011f\u0131naca\u011f\u0131 ba\u015fka bir yatak aramaya\u00a0 \u00a0y\u00f6nelmeyen\u00a0 alt\u0131n y\u00fcrekli insan?<\/p>\n
Onun yerinde\u00a0 olsayd\u0131n\u0131z ayn\u0131 anlay\u0131\u015f\u0131, ayn\u0131 sabr\u0131, ayn\u0131 sevgiyi siz ona g\u00f6sterebilir miydiniz?<\/p>\n
Sakince, sessizce d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcn hele; uzun zamandan beri f\u0131rsatlar bulduk\u00e7a h\u0131rpalad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z, azarlad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z bu insan size ne yapt\u0131 ki ona b\u00f6ylesine d\u00fc\u015fmanca davran\u0131yor, g\u00f6zlerinizi ondan ka\u00e7\u0131r\u0131yor, size korka korka s\u00f6ylemeye\u00a0 \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 duymazdan geliyorsunuz? B\u00fct\u00fcn bunlara kar\u015f\u0131n o size inan\u0131lmaz derecede sab\u0131rla, sevgi ve sayg\u0131yla yakla\u015fmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yor da siz onun kalbini ayaklar\u0131n\u0131z\u0131n alt\u0131na alm\u0131\u015f, ezip duruyorsunuz. Neden? Neden?<\/p>\n
Sevgili dert k\u00fcp\u00fc insan,\u00a0 a\u00e7\u0131k\u00e7a g\u00f6r\u00fcl\u00fcyor ki siz \u00e7ok ezilmi\u015f, yorulmu\u015fsunuz, azdan da az rahatlamak i\u00e7in sizden daha ezilmi\u015f bir insan g\u00f6r\u00fcp teselli aramak gibi yanl\u0131\u015f bir yolda \u00e7\u0131k\u0131\u015f ar\u0131yorsunuz. Bak\u0131n, yatak arkada\u015f\u0131n\u0131z\u0131n \u015fu sakin, masum y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc seyretmek bile size iyi gelmeye ba\u015flad\u0131.<\/p>\n
L\u00fctfen,\u00a0 sizi ezenlerden, kahredenlerden \u00f6c\u00fcn\u00fcz\u00fc \u015fu yan\u0131n\u0131zda her \u015feye ra\u011fmen ince bir tebess\u00fcmle uyumakta olan bu insandan almaktan vaz ge\u00e7in. Usulca e\u011filip aln\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6p\u00fcn, sa\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6p\u00fcp ok\u015fay\u0131n. Onun uykusunu b\u00f6lmeyecek kadar hafif bir sesle:<\/p>\n
“\u015eunca zamand\u0131r ba\u011f\u0131r\u0131p \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rmalar\u0131m\u0131n, k\u00fcsk\u00fcnl\u00fcklerimin, sayg\u0131s\u0131zl\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131n seninle hi\u00e7 ilgisi yok; ben, evimizin d\u0131\u015f\u0131nda y\u00fcklenip ezildi\u011fim dertlerden dolay\u0131 bu haldeyim. S\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131 seninle payla\u015fmaktan ka\u00e7\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131m i\u00e7in bu haldeyim.”\u00a0 diye f\u0131s\u0131lda.\u00a0 Sonra yata\u011f\u0131na usulca uzan ve onu uyand\u0131rmaktan ka\u00e7\u0131narak elini hafif\u00e7e eline al. Biraz sonra onun elinden fark\u0131ndal\u0131k s\u0131cakl\u0131\u011f\u0131 alacaks\u0131n.<\/p>\n
O s\u0131cakl\u0131\u011f\u0131 alg\u0131lad\u0131\u011f\u0131nda<\/p>\n
Belki de aylarca s\u00fcrd\u00fcrd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn so\u011fuk sava\u015f\u0131n yanl\u0131\u015fl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 anlad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, bu s\u00fcre i\u00e7inde kendisini \u00fczmekten b\u00fcy\u00fck pi\u015fmanl\u0131k ve utan\u00e7 duydu\u011funu, kendisinden \u00f6z\u00fcr\u00a0 ve af diledi\u011fini… f\u0131s\u0131lda.<\/p>\n
Bu f\u0131s\u0131lt\u0131 daha sonra b\u00fcy\u00fck olas\u0131l\u0131kla birlikteli\u011finize yeni bir d\u00f6nem, yeni bir birliktelik\u00a0 katacakt\u0131r.<\/p>\n
Bunu yapabilece\u011finize inan\u0131yorum.<\/p>\n
Sizin ve her \u015feye ra\u011fmen yan\u0131n\u0131zda m\u0131\u015f\u0131l m\u0131\u015f\u0131l uyuyabilen insan\u0131n bunu yapabilecek g\u00fc\u00e7te oldu\u011funuzu g\u00f6r\u00fcyorum.<\/p>\n
Siz yapabilirsiniz.<\/p>\n
Ba\u015far\u0131lar diliyorum.<\/p>\n
22.12.2025\u00a0 \u00a0 Remzi KISA\u00a0 Kocap\u0131nar Notlar\u0131m.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Gecenin bir\u00a0 vakti. Yar\u0131 uyur yar\u0131 uyan\u0131k bir haldesiniz. Yan\u0131n\u0131zda biri var, m\u0131\u015f\u0131l m\u0131\u015f\u0131l uyuyor. Huzur i\u00e7inde. Dirse\u011finize dayanarak hafif\u00e7e do\u011frulup onu seyre dal\u0131yorsunuz Ne kadar sevimli, ne kadar mutlu, ne kadar cana yak\u0131n bir y\u00fcz. Siz ki onu ayn\u0131 yata\u011f\u0131 payla\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z ilk g\u00fcnden beri ne kadar k\u0131rm\u0131\u015f, incitmi\u015f,\u00a0 ne kadar h\u0131rpalam\u0131\u015f, d\u0131\u015f d\u00fcnyan\u0131z\u0131n s\u0131rt\u0131n\u0131za […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kocapinarnotlarim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2065"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kocapinarnotlarim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kocapinarnotlarim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kocapinarnotlarim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kocapinarnotlarim.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2065"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.kocapinarnotlarim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2065\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2082,"href":"https:\/\/www.kocapinarnotlarim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2065\/revisions\/2082"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kocapinarnotlarim.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2065"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kocapinarnotlarim.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2065"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kocapinarnotlarim.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2065"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}