A\u011eLAMAK NEYE YARAR ?<\/p>\n
Bir \u015fark\u0131 s\u00f6z\u00fc de\u011fil bu yaz\u0131n\u0131n ba\u015fl\u0131\u011f\u0131, d\u00fcped\u00fcz kendimize y\u00f6neltmemiz gereken bir soru! \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131z derde girdi\u011finde, bir sorunla ya da sorumsuzlukla kar\u015f\u0131la\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131zda ilk tepkimiz yak\u0131nmak, s\u0131zlanmak, hatta a\u011flamak oluyor. Elbet h\u00fcng\u00fcr h\u00fcng\u00fcr a\u011flamak de\u011fil yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z, ama s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131m\u0131z\u0131, sorunumuzu \u00e7evremizdekilere \u00f6yle bir \u00e7aresizlik g\u00f6r\u00fcnt\u00fcs\u00fc vererek anlat\u0131r\u0131z ki bizi dinleyenler dinlediklerine pi\u015fman olurlar; kendilerini adeta sorunumuzun \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcnden sorumlu hissederler. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc derdimizi anlatma bi\u00e7imimiz \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fcm yollar\u0131 konusunda bir dan\u0131\u015fma \u00fcslubunda de\u011fil, d\u00fcped\u00fcz \u201cBenim derdim senin derdin, hadi bunu sen \u00fcstleniver.\u201d havas\u0131ndad\u0131r. Bu yakla\u015f\u0131m
\nsorunlar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fclmesi bir yana, bizi yaln\u0131zla\u015ft\u0131rmak gibi hi\u00e7 istemedi\u011fimiz bir sonuca da yol a\u00e7abilir. <\/p>\n
Herkesin kendi derdinin ba\u015f\u0131ndan a\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fczde ba\u015fkalar\u0131na a\u011flay\u0131p s\u0131zlanman\u0131n dert sahibine psikolojik bir rahatl\u0131k sa\u011flamas\u0131 m\u00fcmk\u00fcn ise de derdine derman bulunmas\u0131 konusunda \u00e7ok da umut verici bir yol de\u011fildir. G\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fckler kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda g\u00fcvendi\u011fimiz insanlara s\u0131\u011f\u0131nmak galiba \u00e7ocukluk \u00e7a\u011f\u0131m\u0131zda ailemizin bize kar\u015f\u0131 tak\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131 a\u015f\u0131r\u0131 korumac\u0131 tav\u0131rlarla yak\u0131ndan ili\u015fkili. K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck \u00e7ocuk y\u00fcr\u00fcmeyi \u00f6\u011frendi\u011fi d\u00f6nemde do\u011fal olarak s\u0131k s\u0131k d\u00fc\u015fer ve d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc\u011f\u00fc i\u00e7in \u00e7ok \u015fa\u015f\u0131r\u0131r. Bu \u015fa\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131k anlar\u0131nda e\u011fer aile bireyleri bir panik havas\u0131na girerlerse, do\u011fald\u0131r ki \u00e7ocuk da pani\u011fe girer ve hem y\u00fcr\u00fcme cesaretini yitirir hem de d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc\u011f\u00fc yerden kalkmak i\u00e7in ailesinin yard\u0131m\u0131n\u0131 ister; kar\u015f\u0131la\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131 engelleri kendi \u00e7abas\u0131yla a\u015fmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmak yerine g\u00f6z ya\u015f\u0131n\u0131 bir silah gibi kullanarak ailesini ve \u00e7evresini kendi yerine cepheye s\u00fcrmeye tevess\u00fcl eder. Bu ya\u015flarda ediniler a\u011flama, s\u0131zlanma al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131\u011f\u0131, yaz\u0131k ki \u00e7o\u011fu ki\u015fide ya\u015fam boyu devam edebilmektedir. oysa sorunlar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n a\u011flay\u0131p s\u0131zlanmayla, \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcn\u00fc b\u00fcy\u00fcklerimize ve yak\u0131nlar\u0131m\u0131za havale yoluyla \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fclemeyece\u011fi bin bir denemeyle sabittir. <\/p>\n
Unutmayal\u0131m ki sorunlar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 \u00e7\u00f6zmelerini bekledi\u011fimiz yak\u0131nlar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n, dostlar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n da kendilerini \u00e7ok zorlayan sorunlar\u0131 vard\u0131r. Do\u011fal olarak herkesin derdi \u00f6ncelikle kendi derdidir. \u00d6yleyse bizim dertlerimiz de \u00f6ncelikle kendi dertlerimizdir. \u201cEl elin e\u015fe\u011fini \u0131sl\u0131k \u00e7alarak arar!\u201d, \u201cYanan kendi derdine yanar!\u201d ve benzeri atas\u00f6zlerimiz bo\u015funa s\u00f6ylenmemi\u015ftir. <\/p>\n
K\u0131saca s\u00f6ylemek gerekirse, bizim derdimiz, yine bizim derdimizdir. Sorunlar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 \u00e7\u00f6zme g\u00f6revi \u00f6ncelikle bize d\u00fc\u015fer. Ancak dertlerimizden ba\u015fkalar\u0131na ille de s\u00f6z edecek isek, bu yaln\u0131zca onlar\u0131n ayn\u0131 durumda nas\u0131l bir \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fcm bulduklar\u0131n\u0131 anlamak ya da kendi \u00e7abam\u0131zla buldu\u011fumuz \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fcmleri, deneyimleri ba\u015fka sorun sahipleriyle payla\u015fmak ama\u00e7l\u0131 olmal\u0131d\u0131r. Unutmamal\u0131y\u0131z ki \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fcmler g\u00f6z ya\u015f\u0131 d\u00f6kmekte de\u011fil, zorluklarla ak\u0131ll\u0131ca sava\u015fmaktad\u0131r. Yeter ki yapabiliriz, \u00e7\u00f6zebiliriz, ba\u015farabiliriz diyelim! <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A\u011eLAMAK NEYE YARAR ? Bir \u015fark\u0131 s\u00f6z\u00fc de\u011fil bu yaz\u0131n\u0131n ba\u015fl\u0131\u011f\u0131, d\u00fcped\u00fcz kendimize y\u00f6neltmemiz gereken bir soru! \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131z derde girdi\u011finde, bir sorunla ya da sorumsuzlukla kar\u015f\u0131la\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131zda ilk tepkimiz yak\u0131nmak, s\u0131zlanmak, hatta a\u011flamak oluyor. Elbet h\u00fcng\u00fcr h\u00fcng\u00fcr a\u011flamak de\u011fil yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z, ama s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131m\u0131z\u0131, sorunumuzu \u00e7evremizdekilere \u00f6yle bir \u00e7aresizlik g\u00f6r\u00fcnt\u00fcs\u00fc vererek anlat\u0131r\u0131z ki bizi dinleyenler dinlediklerine pi\u015fman […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kocapinarnotlarim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/977"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kocapinarnotlarim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kocapinarnotlarim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kocapinarnotlarim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kocapinarnotlarim.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=977"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.kocapinarnotlarim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/977\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":978,"href":"https:\/\/www.kocapinarnotlarim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/977\/revisions\/978"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kocapinarnotlarim.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=977"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kocapinarnotlarim.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=977"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kocapinarnotlarim.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=977"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}